


Running

by MissLadyScribe



Category: Bridgerton (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Did I already mention angst?, Eloise has a girlfriend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Polin, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:41:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29353614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLadyScribe/pseuds/MissLadyScribe
Summary: Penelope Featherington’s life was more perfect than she had ever imagined. She was working her dream job as a blogger and just finished writing her first book. She had the most amazing long-term boyfriend, who loved her and had his own travel cooking show on Food Network. Her body, her apartment, her lifestyle- everything was just suited to her.But what happens when she finds out she’s pregnant- and realizes that she wants to keep the baby? Will Colin want that too?
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington
Comments: 6
Kudos: 196





	Running

Six seemed to be the magic number for Penelope today.

There were only six more hours until her amazing boyfriend Colin arrived home after six weeks of traveling for his cooking show. There were six more days until her book on developing self-confidence was set to finally hit the shelves. And there were six pregnancy tests lined up on the bathroom sink, mocking her with six pink plus signs.

Penelope sat on the edge of her bathtub, staring at herself in the mirror in shock. She didn’t look any different. She didn’t really feel any different. She was still the same old Pen she had always been. But now she was pregnant?

She slid down the side of the tub to sit on the title floor. The cool porcelain of the bath felt good on her back, drawing some of the heat out of her flushed face. How on earth could she be pregnant?

She had taken the first test after some gentle teasing from Eloise when she had cancelled their lunch date. She had told her best friend that she was feeling under the weather and her queasy stomach wouldn’t let her leave the house.

 _“Oooh, best be careful, love! If you’re pregnant with Colin’s baby then you’ll never get to leave him. And then how will we be crotchety old ladies in the States together?”_ She had joked.

At the time, Penelope had laughed and told Eloise to go make out with her girlfriend.

She was no longer laughing.  
As one positive test had turned into two, two into three and three into a spiral of denial, there was no doubt in Penelope’s mind.

She was pregnant.

Looking down at her stomach, she gently placed her hands on her lower abdomen. With the chub she had for entire life, it would be weeks before she started showing. And lord knows she didn’t feel very different, aside from the morning sickness. And the slight tenderness in her breasts. And- christ!

Putting her head into her hands, she couldn’t stop the tears prickling at her eyes.

What was she going to do? She was financially stable enough to have a baby, sure. Her lifestyle, although busy, could possibly be modified to suit child-rearing. But did she feel ready to have a living, breathing human that she was responsible for?

The thought rattled around in her brain. She tried to cut out images of cute stuffies and little shoes and focus on the reality. Late, sleepless nights. Her body wrecked from the inside out. All of her time belonging to somebody she barely even knew.

But for every hardship she pictured, she couldn’t help but imagine a little one with her curls and Colin’s eyes. A daughter or son or nonbinary child to love and treat better than she had ever been treated by her family. Suddenly, she could see a different life than the one she was currently living. And while it terrified the shit out of her… she couldn’t help but want it.

Heaven help her, she wanted this baby.

But what about Colin?

She knew that he would never abandon his child- even if he didn’t want to be a parent, he’d still assure that they were provided for. But he was a globe-trotter, a bachelor in every sense except his relationship status. For fuck’s sake, he was just returning from shooting another season of his latest travel cooking show with the Food Network! Would a celebrity chef in the height of his career want to settle down and have a baby with _her?_

Penelope shook herself. Now that was unacceptable. She was worthy of love and any person would be lucky to raise a kid with her. She would not insult herself like that.

Rising to stand, she swept the pregnancy tests up and tossed them in the bin. She couldn’t deny the nerves jolting within her. The slowly balling knot of stress in her stomach was not ignorable and was only growing by the minute. She loved Colin and she didn’t want to lose him. He was… _everything_. But the more she thought about them, the more she knew she couldn’t get rid of the fetus. For better or worse, she was choosing them.

The decision shook her to the core, and she had to grip the sink in terror. She would give Colin up. She wouldn’t beg or fight or force him to stay. She wouldn’t go to the press or Instagram. He would be civil and she would be civil and everything would be as civil as can be for the end of their relationship.

She wasn’t that teenage girl that put Colin Bridgerton up on a pedestal anymore. She would tell herself everyday that she would get through it and be better for it. Pen knew she would be more than fine on her own.

It didn’t stop the tears from falling, though.

* * *

Citing her nauseousness from earlier, Pen had enlisted Eloise and Phillipa to pick Colin up from the airport. Fidgeting with the dinner layout and the chicken cacciatore she had prepared with shaking hands, she felt her heart jump in her chest at the sound of the key in the front door lock.

Heading around the corner into the entryway, she watched the door swing open. Standing in the doorway was Colin. His clothes and hair were all ajar, but he looked modelesque as usual. The long trench coat, white t-shirt and jeans were rumpled and the scruff on his face looked so styled that it seemed right out of a particularly filthy photo shoot. His eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, were locked on her even as he struggled to yank his suitcase through the door and shut it.

A grin spread wide across his face, and her breath was stolen once again by the boyish charm. Without hesitation, he dropped his suitcase and small travel bag, rushing to wrap her in a tight hug.

“I missed you so bloody much, babe,” He said, burying his face into her neck and molding his body to hers.

Penelope, for all her resolve to be strong, couldn’t help but melt into the embrace.

“Not as much as I missed you,” She whispered back.

Pulling back slightly, Colin looked at her once more and gave her a squeeze that she giggled lightly at.

“Impossible,” he whispered.

He kissed her deeply. She was instantly drawn into him, doused in arousal and lust. Before she knew it, Colin’s tongue was in her mouth and she was pulling him in. If she wasn’t going to have this forever, she was going to enjoy it right now. Colin let out a shuddering breath and laid kisses all over her face. In a voice suddenly much lower than moments before, he said,

“As much as I’m looking forward to properly coming home, I haven’t eaten since breakfast and I’m starving.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I made your favorite then.”

Colin groaned and buried his face into her hair.

“Chicken cacciatore? With that recipe from my mom? You really are the best.”

“I know,” Penelope replied, biting back a smile.

Colin couldn’t help but pinch her on the butt.

* * *

Penelope was sprawled out on the couch, waiting for Colin to finish getting ready for bed so they could watch a quick movie together. She knew that she should tell him about the baby, but she needed just one more night of normalcy. Just one more night of good food and great conversation and cuddles and love would be enough, right?

Flipping through Hulu, Pen couldn’t help but click on Colin’s show. Seeing him on the cover slide of the show never lost its charm, almost in the way she never got over the fact that fans of her blog would stop her in the street for pictures. It was weird, this little corner of the world they had carved out together. Cooking and fashion and travel and the journey to loving herself. Even with the knot of anxiety in her stomach, she would always be proud of what they had accomplished.

Colin opened the door to their bedroom and Pen clicked off of his show, scrolling once more.

“What kind of movie are you in the mood for tonight?” She called out over her shoulder.

She suspected something light and easy to follow. Something that they wouldn’t mind missing the ending of if they got distracted doing something else. But no reply came from Colin. Furrowing her eyebrows, she asked once more,

“Love, what kind of movie should I be looking for?”

Still no reply. Pen sat up and turned, finding Colin over her shoulder. He stood in the blue light of the television, eerily still in the darkness of the room. In his hand a long white stick.

Oh shite.

Colin flipped the stick around, holding it out to her. The plus sign was clear as day, even with the shadows of the room bending around them. Her lip trembled and the tears sprung once more to her eyes.

“What’s this, Pen?”

She couldn’t tear her eyes from the stick. Couldn’t bear to see the look- whatever it may be- in his eyes.

“Pen. What. Is. This?”

Fat tears rolled down her cheeks and she folded in on herself. Arms wrapping around her stomach, she balled into the couch. Her breath caught in her throat and she hiccupped. She would be strong, damn it all.

“I’m pregnant, Colin.”

The words hung in the air. Tension crackled in the air, unbroken.

“How long have you known?”

“I just found out today.”

There was a beat of silence. Outside, Pen could hear the hustle of London roaring forward as usual. Car horns sounded out into the night air and a siren could be heard rushing across town. A small rumbling from the pub on the corner, often unnoticeable, seemed so much louder tonight. How could the world keep spinning at a time like this? How could it all keep going while her life was in the balance right here, just teeter-tottering on the edge of a cliff?

“Okay,” Colin said.

The word hurt worse than anything else she had prepared herself for. She expected some yelling or tears or something- anything- but apathy. She wouldn’t wait for it, though. Penelope Featherington had come much to far to wait around for Colin Bridgerton anymore. She had dignity now.

Pulling the blanket around her, she stood up and attempted to walk towards their room. As she passed by him, Colin shot out his hand and grabbed her upper arm. She kept her eyes straight ahead on their bedroom door.

“Where are you going?” Colin asked.

She could feel his gaze prickling her skin. She simply shook his hand off and continued into the bedroom.

“I’m going to stay with Eloise tonight. It’ll be much easier this way.”

She flicked on her bedside lamp and washed the room in soft white light. Her duffel bag was under the bed, her laptop was in their shared office and the locket Eloise got her for their second friendiversary was in her jewelry box. She could be out of here and in her car in 10 minutes.

“Easier? Penelope, what are you talking about? Aren’t we going to discuss this?”

“What’s there to discuss?” She asked, plopping her bag onto the bed. “You have your future to think about. Your career is taking off and I don’t need you to tell me that a baby isn’t going to fit into that. I’m not that girl who waited around for you with puppy-dog eyes, Colin. I’m not going to wait for you to tell me that.”

Colin stormed over to the bed and tossed the duffel bag across the room. She closed her eyes, head turned away.

“Well you’re going to be waiting for a fucking long time for me to say that, because I’m never going to.”

Tears flowed out from underneath her closed eyes. Why was he making this so difficult?

“I am trying to make this easier, Colin. I know you don’t want a child right-“

Colin reached out and spun her to face him.

“Who said that, Pen? Who in the bloody _fucking_ world ever god damn said that? Because I sure as hell didn’t,” he said.

Pen finally opened her eyes to glare at him.

“No one had to say it. It’s obvious. You’re in the prime of your career as a _celebrity travel_ chef.”

Colin stooped down, deadly serious, looking her dead in the eyes.

“And? And?” He demanded.

“And I’m not going to let you leave me,” she whispered.

Colin’s face crumpled.

“Leave you? Christ, Penelope, don’t you ever think that. Don’t you _ever_ ,” Colin pulled her into into his chest, holding her tight.

They both let the dams loose, hanging onto each other like lifeboats. The only thing that mattered was holding on for dear life.

“I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not for the rest of my life. I don’t give a shit. I’ll stay even if you hate me,” Colin said fiercely.

“I could never hate you, Colin! I just don’t want to pin you down when you’ve got so much happening. You’ve worked so hard for this and I don’t want to clip your wings when you’re just about to fly! I don’t want you to stay out of obligation and resent me!”

“My beautiful, sweet Penelope, you are my whole world. You are my anchor. You are my home. You are just as much a part of me as my heart or my lungs. I can’t very well resent my own lungs, now can I?” Colin tried to joke.

“It’s not funny!” Penelope tried to stay serious, but she couldn’t help a small laugh.

“But it is! It’s hilarious that you think I would ever in a million years leave you. Whatever happens, you’re stuck with me.”

Pen looked up at him through wet eyelashes, tears still blurring her vision.

“Even if I want to keep this baby? Even if it means your career is going to suffer?”

“Especially if you want to keep the baby! Because I want to keep the baby too! And my career is not going to suffer. I just wrapped on the second season of my show- I can do whatever I want. Write a cookbook or a regular book or start a stationary show or a restaurant or just stay home and be a family with you! We have so many options. Why are you trying to run from me?”

Pen buried her face into his chest and Colin pulled her into his arms once more. He rubbed her back in big circles.

“I thought you wouldn’t want the baby like I do and I got scared. I’m so tired of being left behind, I just wanted to be the one to leave this time. I wanted to be strong this time.”

“Oh, Pen,” Colin said.

Colin maneuvered them towards the bed. He let her crawl under the covers and the soft duvet before diving in after her. Wrapping his long, strong body around hers, he cradled every inch of her.

“You’re mine and I’m yours, baby. Period. I’m sorry if I haven’t made that clear enough. I’m sorry if I haven’t asked you to marry me yet or if I haven’t talked about the future enough. But you have to know that you have every part of me: mind, body and soul. And I’d like to believe that I have yours.”

“You do, of course you do. And you’re fine. I’m just being silly,” Pen sobbed.

He shook his head firmly.

“No, you’re not. You might be hormonal and stressed, but you have every right to feel this way. I’m sorry. I’m going to do better.”

Pen nuzzled her head into his chest, breathing in his scent. His musky soap helped calm her down. Slowly, her breaths calmed down. The two of them laid side by side, with Colin’s leg thrown over her upper thigh to draw her in close. She could hear his heart beating under her ear. He rubbed small circles into her back- rhythmic, soothing.

“I’m not going anywhere, Pen. I love you and I love this baby.”

She brought her hand up to his waist, balling the fabric in her fist, anchoring herself.

“Neither am I. I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to write this self-indulgent piece down because it was rattling around in my head and the lack of pregnant Penelope in this fandom is heinous. Please, people, I need you to join my ranks and write more angsty/fluffy/smutty pregnant Pen! We have a couple amazing fics but not enough! 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is extremely welcome, just be kind because I wrote this at the crack of dawn and barely proofread it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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